I have theorized that cannibals are technically the only humans that truly exist…and I have figured out a way to prove it using a simple algebraic equation and basic logic.
Firstly, we’ll let P be the variable for a type of person and x for the type of food someone predominantly eats. And, of couse, as we all know, you are what you eat. So P must be equal to x. For example, I once knew a person who mainly eats pistachios, which are a type of nut (n). So if P = n, we can conclude that that person is nuts. Which is true, by the way.
Now, using the “Food Theorum”, as I call it, we can substitute P in for C (whch represents cannibals). And since cannibals eat humans, we can sub in H for x. Thusly, C = H, meaning that cannibals are humans. Do any other people eat humans? I don’t think so.
