In all my years of experience, if there’s one thing that never changes, it’s the inevitability of a pickup line failing. I’ve tried it before, and I’ve found that girls really get tired of hearing why their feet are so tired. (CAUSE YOU’VE BEEN RUNNING THRU MY MIND BABY!!)
Who invented pick-up lines, anyway? I’m guessing that long ago, way back when speech and conversations were first developed, some caveman or something (let’s call him Oog-Boog) thought he was so full of wit, when in reality he was only full of IT. So Oog-Boog went up to some cave lay-dee (let’s call her Nicole) and said, “Oo-oog!!” (roughly translated, that means, “Hey, baby– let’s go invent FIRE!”) …Then Oog-Boog got a whooping from Nicole. And so Nicole was sent to jail for attempted murder and Oog-Boog got all the glory for inventing the most useless invention ever!! HOORAY!! YAY JERK!!! W00t w00t!!!11!1!!!oneone!!
Pick up lines are so infamous, “Weird Al” Yankovic even wrote a son consisting of NOTHING BUT PICKUP LINES!!! It’s called “Wanna B Ur Lovr” (lyrics here: http://www.com-www.com/weirdal/wannaburlovr.html). Funny story I once heard is that at one of his concerts he went right up to a girl in the audience during this song, and she took out her camera phone, seizing the opportunity. Even as he sang the song he just casually pushed the phone away and continued on through the crowd nonchalantly.
But now I’m just digressing, so to get back to my original point…
The truth of the matter, there really is no pick-up line that works. Except maybe, “Hello, my name is [your name here].” And I ain’t talkin’ ’bout no Slim Shady.
